Robert and I met at my first full time job right out of college. I was working as an office assistant for a pretty large media company. Robert was one of the web designers. We bumped in to each other while I was giving out company T-Shirts. A friendly conversation turned in to “Hi!s” in the mornings, lunch one Wednesday afternoon, another lunch the following week, several early dinners, Friday Happy Hours, long conversations on the phone, introduction to each other’s friends and finally to a long lasting friendship. He was an artsy guy who highlighted his hair, wore funky button ups with small flowers on them, drank too much and spoke with an Irish accent when he was drunk.
He met Elizabeth during one of his snowboarding trips to Colorado. She was smart, funny, beautiful – a full package. Only one problem – She lived in Colorado. He lived in New York.
One Sunday Robert and I were sitting on a bench in Central Park. “What should I do? She is so far away. Will this ever work?” Honestly, I am very skeptical about long distance relationships. They never work for me. I guess I always thought that the whole point of a relationship is to be near that person, to kiss and hug and touch them, walk around holding hands, and eat breakfast in bed with Mimosas on Sunday mornings. However that day I decided that I need to be supportive. I told Robert that if they really feel passionate about each other, this will definitely work out.
He just has to wait and see. And he did. He waited three years until he finally brought up “moving in together, moving to a different state” to Elizabeth. It was decided that he is the one who is going to have to move.
He went to Colorado for a month to get situated, get an apartment, look for a job. One night while I was walking my dog my phone buzzed. “She said yes!” Apparently Robert was doing a little bit more than just getting situated in his new state. He was getting the rest of his life situated with Elizabeth. He proposed to her by writing, “Will you marry me?” on clean white snow outside of her house. Robert sealed the deal with a princess cut one and a half caret diamond ring from Tiffanies.
A month flew by, Robert came back to New York and soon I found myself in his studio apartment helping him pack into large boxes last ten years of his life in the city. It took us lots of wine, jokes and funky music to stay focused and not get sad over the fact that he was moving away and now I had to prove to him how good and patient I really am when it comes to long distance friendships.
Three days before Robert’s final departure I got another text message that took me by surprise. “Come now.” Ok. I rushed over. The door to his apartment wasn’t locked. After Robert didn’t answer my knocking, I walked in. Slowly making my way between the boxes I finally reached a dead end. Robert was sitting on a floor. He face was pale. He held a FedEx box. He looked up at me. After seeing a tremendous amount of pain in his eyes, I realized that this will take a while. I plopped down on the floor next to him.
Elizabeth send back the engagement ring in a FedEx box. She included a yellow posted that read: “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” That was it. Just a ring in a FedEx box and a small post it. I sat next to my friend with a broken heart and held his hand. He kept twisting damn FedEx box.
While Robert was in Colorado he stayed with Elizabeth. By the end of that month she realized that the reason why she loved their relationship is the fact that it was long distance. She couldn’t bring herself to break up with him over the phone, so she decided to do it in a “long distance style”, by mailing back his Tiffanies ring.
Considering the fact that half of Robert’s stuff was already on the truck on the way to Colorado and that he had to start his new job the following Monday, he had no choice but move. I hugged him good bye and made him promises to call me every day. Just like that my friend was gone. He didn’t last long in Colorado. Two years later he was back in New York. He still has that FedEx box as a reminder to never get into a long distance relationship. Now, he only uses UPS.
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